HEALTH CARE HAS BECOME A JOKE

Since my hands first went numb last October I have been trying to find out what is wrong and get some kind of medical help and answers. I went to emergency thinking I was having some kind of heart problems causing the blood not to circulate to my hands. They determine it was not a heart attack and not a stroke as the numbness was in both hands. I was released and sent back to my regular doctor who referred me to a nurologist. When I called the nurologist the girl in the office said they were not accepting any patients without suppmental insurance. I had lost my job some time again and was in the process of loosing my house and there was no way of getting insurance on my meager $610.00 SS payment. I was afraid by the time I got help in Phoenix, I would already be out of my house. My daughter wanted me come of California and I could at least take the grandkids to school. When I went to SS in California they said I was not illegable for help as they were going to count my daughter helping me out with the rent as income. In the mean time the numbness kept crawling up my arms into my spin and the back of my neck. Finally they gave me a Medi-Cal card that would help. I moved in Feb. and now it was April. The appointment they gave me was June 3rd. Feeling like I couldn't make it until June 3, I went to a 24 hr clinic and was referred to a nurologist. Since Oct, I have been to emergancy twice, had a heart stress test, five doctors and three nurologist and have not had one suggestion on what to do about this. Just..."No it's not this, it's not that." No mention of diet or exercise suggestion, not one treatment. And they wonder why health care expences is astromomical.
My nurologist cancelled my last appointment as I need one more test an MRI before they could determine anything. An MRI that I probably should have gotten the first time I went to emergencyor the numness in my hands and pain in my back.
Delay, delay, delay making more expense and more money for hospital and doctors. I feel like all these delay will cause permanant damage to the nerves in my hands, which might have been fixed with more speed. I wonder how many thousands more are subject to his same kind of non-treatment. I feel like shooting myself... for the first time in my life I understand suicide.
I am hopeful they will call with the appointment for the MRI in five days like they said they were going to. If not I get to call back and call back trying to find out what went wrong...again.

Vooman's Voice

Vooman is not sure, now, if she wants to blog, after announcing her spot in the big bad, galloping blog world. Curling up with a good book that someone else has written might be easier than trying to extract my ideas from the sea of ideas floating just off my fingertips. Holybeejesus, never in th history of the world has the human mind been ask to take in so much. It is endless.

Vooman has been searching for truths for fifty years through thousands of book, after having a breakdown at twenty and I still don't understand truth and am even supicious of the word. I guess I have decided that truth is really around the corner. Truth is coming at us and if we lower our heads too long, we might miss it...or truth will fly on by, right over our heads...and it's possible truth has no wings.

Life is really some kind of a joke on all of us, only to be laughed at. Can anyone really make sense of all the nonesense undertaken by every class of people in the world, any government claiming to have the right way, or any religion expounding that they have the only truth? We need to be ready to poke holes in every philosophy, government or religion that wants to package us in their kind of wrapper, probably for their own use or profit.

It not that I didn't want to find truth. It's not that I didn't search relentlessly. It was just not to be found. I dreamed I had been hired as court jester for God, which gave me thought as I tried from time to time to come up with mirth for "God." Of course my "God" or "Goddess" (in quotes) does believe in laughter, unlike he Jewish God, Jehovan, who declared laughter a sin. I hope to make you, too, laugh from time to time. This is why I call myself Vooman... part voodoo, psychic, healer, woman, jester and mistake making fool.

What a Fool I have been to actually take serious those who told me supposed truths set in stone, even about myself. And I find that even stone is not solid. I know now...after working through my many fears that even death, where we are all headed, is but a flowing river to somewhere else. Please...as I dance along life's trails aned trials bare with me in song, poetry and laughter
Vooman