I might as well try and type with these numb hands because, let's face it, my hopes of getting them fixed has turned to an all time low. They ask if I am depressed. Ofcourse I am depressed. My hands started going numb in Oct. and it is now almost June and tomorrow I am finally having some kind of test. When I look around I see people all over the place in worse shape than I am. And the baby boomer elderly have not even arrived yet. In these past months I have lost my house, had to move to California where my daughter has been helping me. I sadly, left my live-in love and my dogs behind. Getting a new doctor and help without a job or money has been a long slow, painful process, which I feel has probably done permanent damage to my hands, which could have probably been reversed if I had been able to get some help, therpy, medicine...something quickly. It would probably have cost much less money than what I am now looking at...the loss of my hands.This loss would be great for anyone, but for me, a sculptress, where I ceate with my hands, it seems a much bigger loss. No, I have not really made a living with my art, but I haven't stopped. I have continued to do one more picture and one more sculpture. America doesn't seem to love it's artist anymore than it's elderly or sick. Maybe this slow down, this drag on my health and my spirits will go on. Maybe it can't be fixed. Maybe these numb gloves I wear on my hands will not go away.Tomorrow I am hopeful that something will be found to reverse this problem and my balance, also, so that I can stop walking around like a drunk. Maybe it is life and getting old... our bodies decaying... not holding up. God knows I have done my share of shit work in America. Somewhere I got tired of holding up, even though the process doesn't stop. There is really no stopping on this conveyer belt of life pulling us ever forward toward death.The numb not-care health system will probably go on, as more people age, the population explodes, more pollution happens in our rivers, seas and food systems. The doctor make money when we are sick, not when we are well. Tomorrow...another looking into the tangled octopus we call a Health Care System.
draft
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am afraid that when you had to turn to medicare's health system services were slower in both Arizona and California for you. When my companion Pierre's arm started going numb 6 years ago he was delayed getting help until he could get on access in Arizona, but from that point on he was taken care of, I would say in 3 months time. You came into the system when both states have been hit with bad economy problems, and so will the baby boomers run into these conditions when they retire. It is like the medical problem no matter how alarming no longer alarms quite so much. So the wheels are turning slower, and now that so many months have gone by with a formerly very alarming symptom of numb hands and bad balance, falling down, etc, we all hope that the damage will not be permanent, and that you can get some kind of fix. Pierre's back surgery ws amazingly successful to me. He was warned he might be left with some impairment in his arm, but he was not. I hope the people are good who will be testing you and diagnosing you I remember he had to have a test of his reflexes in the county hospital before he had other procedures preliminary to the surgery. So good luck today on that. It should be an informative test if it was like the one he had.
ReplyDeleteLinda, i am glad you are at least getting to see a Doctor or two. I', hoping you will run into one who decides this is just not right to go on and on without even knowing the root of the problem. There are some left who really want to help people. Hopefully you will get one of those.
ReplyDeleteTesting...this time it works. LaRena suggested I get on google and go from there.
ReplyDeleteI do hope your doctors soon find out your problems. Did they draw blood and do other tests as well???